Death of a Loved One

death of a loved one
my daddy and me 07-11-14

Today I decided to talk about death of a loved one, which I dont do very often because its so hard to talk about. The reason today is I just learned of an online facebook friend who had passed away from stage 4 breast cancer in December 2015, which made me think of my daddy who passed away July 2014. Another thing it reminded me is I have another facebook friend suffering from Stage 4 Breast Cancer. We had a short falling out last year or the year before but now we are friends again and I am very happy we are because well of the circumstances at hand. I will be publishing her interview on January 10th.

Death of a loved one so difficult because even if you are prepared (such as cancer) you still feel blindsided when it happens. My daddy didnt have cancer, just depression. The picture above is the last time I saw him, we took a vacation ironically to Las Vegas (where Im from) and that picture was just a few days before he passed. I think now we were meant to have a family vacation in Las Vegas so I can see my daddy one last time and say goodbye :'( strange how that works right? Normally I would visit him every couple of years with my daughter and go see him over a weekend.

At that time I was trying to get him to move up to Utah and we see about us going into business together. See he was an auto mechanic/car dealer with my uncle in Las Vegas. I was trying to figure out what we could do and convince him to move. I actually told him he could do ebay, it would be easy. Drop shipping ebay and nothing else really he would have to do except data entry into a laptop. See he was almost 60, less strenuous on him for his age and I said things would be so much better because I work from home and can take him anywhere he needs to go.

The thing though with my daddy was he never knew how special he was no matter how much I tried to tell him. See we were really close, we talked at least once a week or twice a month depending on how busy we both were. No matter how far away we were or how long its been since we talked.

Another thing about preparation – My whole life I have never had a loved one pass away ever. Up until it started in 2011 when our family pet I grew up with, Cheyenne passed away, then a year later our family cat Frisky passed away, then the year after that finally Tally passed. Then in between there someone I used to work with in Cookie Lee passed away from a brain tumor. Then in 2014 my daddy passed. I really think of all that happened previously to prepare me for my daddy, I seriously do.

We had my daddy cremated so we could split the ashes with my other siblings, my uncle and my nana. The blessing that came from my daddy though is finally being able to go to Texas and meet my nana, whom I spoke to on the phone my whole life. Shes in her 80s and is a lovely and quite popular family member.

I built a shrine for my daddy, its across from my bed and I wake up to it everyday. I also use my daddys photo as a background picture for my phone. For a long time he was my facebook cover. I just never want to forget my daddy. He is and was still very special to me.

Gone but not Forgotten

My Daddy Joel Boyd Butler Sr. Dec. 1954 – July 2014